


I'm here too, Mum...

by imnotinclinedtomaturity



Series: My youth is yours [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2011, Birthday Fluff, M/M, Meet the Family, No angst here, Wedding Fluff, because I guess I hadn't written enough fluff already, did i mention there was going to be fluff?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-08-07 14:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7718731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnotinclinedtomaturity/pseuds/imnotinclinedtomaturity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We’re only halfway to the door when Mum rushes out to us. I prepare myself for a smothering hug, but to my surprise she bypasses me and goes straight to Phil.</p>
<p>“Hello, darling. It’s so good to finally meet you in person.” Phil chuckles and hugs my mother back.</p>
<p>“Um, hi Mum. I’m here too, ya know.”</p>
<p>Mum turns her attention to me. Finally. Not like I’m her son or anything. “Hello, Daniel. It’s so good to have you home.”<br/>-----</p>
<p>Sequel to FYI my date is a boy. Dan brings Phil home for his birthday and his cousin's wedding</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prebirthday Celebrations

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to everyone who encouraged me to keep going on My Youth Is Yours! you don't *have* to read the first two parts of the series for this to make sense, but it would probably help (also I'm fairly proud of them #spon). I've been writing this installment really out of order, so it should update pretty frequently. Expect about 5 (ish? who knows) chapters :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you might wish to read the other two parts of this series first (#spon)
> 
> i know this chapter is kind of baby sized but updates will come soon :)

“Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!”

Reluctantly, I open my eyes and see Phil literally bouncing above me on the bed. “Sit before you jump on me,” I mumbled into my pillow. With a _thump_ , Phil lands on his bum next me, narrowly avoiding my arm. Stubbornly, I close my eyes.

In place of bouncing, he settles for repeatedly poking my exposed stomach. Still refusing to open my eyes, I clumsily catch his hand in mine and use it as leverage to drag him the rest of the way into the bed. This time he does land on my arm, but instead of pulling it away, I wrap my arm further around him, pulling him closer.

“Daaaaaaaaan.”

“Phiiiiiiiil,” I mimic Phil’s whining while nuzzling my face into his neck. _Mmm, warm._

“Wake up!”

“In case the talking thing wasn’t a tip off, I am awake.” _Unfortunately._

“No I mean properly awake. Sit up, I brought you coffee.”

That got my attention. I pull back slightly, barely cracking my eyes open. Sure enough, two steaming cups of coffee sit on my nightstand.

“Mmm that was nice of you,” I mumble as my head returns to its resting place on Phil’s shoulder and my eyes close again. “Why?”

“Because it’s your birthday!” Phil sounds stupidly excited.

_Huh?_ “Birthday tomorrow.”

“I know, but tomorrow we’ll be at your house and I wanted to be able to celebrate just us, so that’s what we are doing today.” _Aww this guy._

“In that case, I’m demanding that coffee is pushed back 20 minutes. You’re a good pillow and I’m content.”

“Ten minutes. And then coffee and birthday plans.”

“Deal.”

 

After a slightly quicker cup of coffee in bed than I would have preferred, Phil prods me into a pair of black skinny jeans and one of my nice button down shirts.

“So what’s on the agenda today?”

“Well, we have to be at the train station at half five, so I was thinking a late breakfast at the diner you like and then a couple of early drinks at the sky bar before we have to swing back here for our stuff?”

“Sounds perfect. Though you know I’d be fine with just staying here, right?” I sneak up behind Phil and slip my arms around his waist, lightly kissing the back of his neck to fully convey my intentions.

Phil shrugs. “I know, doesn’t mean I don’t want to treat you to something fancier though.”

“Fine, fine. Bedroom activities can wait.” _For now, at least._

 

The diner is nearly deserted. Apparently 11AM on a Tuesday isn’t prime breakfast hour. Our waitress recognizes us (from our many visits, not the internet) and brings us two caramel macchiatos before we even have the chance to order. Brunch is filled with laughter and stolen, syrupy kisses.

Surprisingly, the sky bar is nearly half full. A few tourists are interspersed amongst the fancy businessmen and women, all of whom look preoccupied with important businessy things.

Phil gives his name to the hostess, who politely ushers us to a more secluded couch-table near one of the large windows. An unopened bottle of champagne in an ice bucket and two glasses await us. _Phil clearly put more effort into this than I thought._

Several glasses of champagne later, I’m feeling slightly giddy.

Phil and I have drifted closer together on the u-shaped couch. We are capitalizing on being the youngest people in the bar, knowing that it is unlikely that we will run into subscribers. A comfortable silence has fallen over us as we both sip on our last glass of champagne and enjoy the view.

I look away from the Manchester skyline to find Phil looking at me with his Serious Look Face. _Uh oh._ Before I can open my mouth to question his mood, he starts speaking.

“Do you want your present now, Bear?” His face is still serious. I nod my head apprehensively. _What kind of birthday present mandates that serious of an expression?!_

Phil pulls something from his messenger bag and gently slides it across the table. In front of me is a plain, unsealed, letter-sized manila envelop. I turn it over to see if it is addressed, but the front is blank as well.

As if reading my mind, Phil chuckles. “You’re going to have to open it if you want to know what it is.”

Carefully, I slip my finger under the flap and pull out a single sheet of paper. Stamped across the top is the University of Manchester logo. I quickly scan the form. _What is this?_

“It’s the university withdrawal form.”

Looking more closely this time, I see “Intent of Withdrawal” printed below the university logo. I read more carefully and realize that Phil has completely filled out the entire form, except for the bottom line where I’m supposed to sign and date it.

The champagne slightly clouds my head and I can’t quite connect the dots. “I’m confused.”

Phil reaches across the table for my hand, prompting me to set the paper on the table. “Look, I’m not blind, Dan. I know you’re not happy at university and I know you’re not happy pursuing law. You can’t lie to me and say you haven’t thought about it. Plus, I found the document where you tried to budget out next year’s expenses without tuition or money from your family.”

I feel my cheeks grow hot. _That’s embarrassing._ I know _exactly_ which document he’s referring to. I’ve stared at it every time I couldn’t bring myself to study for exams or write papers, willing it to change.

“Then you had to notice I come up short. A lot short.”

“I know.”

“And you know that financial support from my family is dependent upon me staying in university.”

“I know that too.”

“I’m still confused.”

Phil rotates to fully face me. “I want you to be happy and I’m willing to help support you – emotionally and financially – while you figure things out. I’m doing well enough that I can help you cover groceries or rent or whatever.”

_oh my god_

“That’s too much.”

“No. It’s not. I promised you a long time ago over a shitty skype connection that I never wanted to see you unhappy again and it’s still true. I know university is making you unhappy and there is something I can do about that, so I’d like to do it. Look what I put under ‘reason for withdrawal’.”

_Pursuing life passion: youtube.com/danisnotonfire._

I know I’m staring, but I’m speechless and I can feel tears welling up in my eyes.

“You don’t have to decide right now. I just want you to know your options. The offer stands, whether you decide to take it now or after your exam resit or next semester or never.”

Suddenly, I’m unable to control myself and fling myself into Phil’s arms. “Thank you,” I mumble into his chest.

“You’re welcome. Now, we’ve got another hour before we’ve got to head back to pick up our luggage and head to the train station. Do you want another drink or do you want to go home early? Maybe nap?”

I smile, still overcome with a warm tingle every time Phil refers to his apartment as a shared home. It’s true though; save for the technicality of my name not being on the lease, Phil’s apartment has truly become my home.

I swallow the remnants of the champagne before leaning forward to kiss Phil lightly on the lips, lingering for just a beat longer than is probably socially acceptable.

“Home, please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please like or comment if you enjoyed! 
> 
> the next chapter should be up tomorrow :)


	2. Silly Old Bear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this picks up a few hours after chapter 1 ends

The train window feels cool against my forehead. When we first got on the train, I rested my head in hopes of sleeping through the ride (seeing as that nap Phil suggested never happened _*ahem*_ ), but I gave up ten minutes in and resigned myself to watching the scenery flash by. Phil wandered off to the bathroom 15 minutes ago ( _rude_ ), leaving me without any distraction from my worries.

_What if my extended family doesn’t take the I-have-a-boyfriend thing as well as Mum? What if Mum breaks out the baby album and tells embarrassing stories? What if Adrian reveals **actual dirt** on me? What if Mum and Dad don’t like Phil? Impossible, right? What if Great Aunt Edna –_

“Dan,” Phil’s voice jars me from my thoughts. “I brought you something.” I pry my head off the window. Phil’s holding two personal sized bottles of wine in his left hand: one red and one white. “You seem stressed. I thought you might want something to take the edge off.”

_Alcohol. Yes, good. Alcohol._

I smile gratefully up at Phil and snatch both mini bottles from his grasp. “Thanks. What are you going to drink?”

“Well, I was planning on whichever one of those you didn’t choose.” I hold them close to my chest. _My alcohol._ Phil shakes his head, smirking with amusement. “…But I’ll manage just fine without if you want both.”

_And the best boyfriend award goes to...!_

I quickly glance around us. To our right is an elderly man working on a crossword puzzle. Across from us is a middle-aged woman engrossed in a copy of The Secret. _Okay then._ The rest of the seats are empty.

Quickly, I press a surreptitious kiss to Phil’s cheek. “Thanks.”

“Of course.”

The twist top on the wine bottle makes a loud _crack_ sound as the seal breaks. Without hesitating, I bring the bottle up to my lips to take a swig.

“As utterly classy as you look drinking straight from the bottle in public, I did bring you a glass, you know.” Phil passes me a disposable stemless wine glass. Blushing a little, I take the glass from Phil and pour the remainder of the wine into the glass. Phil sits patiently silent while I finish the red wine and waits to speak until I unscrew the white.

“So, do you want to talk about what is making you so anxious?”

I pour the white wine into the glass, which tinges slightly pink from the last few drops of red wine at the bottom of the glass.

“What gives it away?”

“You mean other than the alcohol?” Phil laughs good-naturedly. “For starters, you were tapping your fingers so much I thought you were going to drum a hole in your trousers. Not to mention you’ve been painfully silent since we boarded.”

“Am I really that easy to read?”

“To me, yes. Now stop avoiding the question, what’s on your mind?”

I take another sip of wine before I answer. _For **support** , dammit. _“The whole thing I guess.”

Phil glares at me unamused. “Okay, want to take a stab at _which_ parts in particular?”

“Honestly, with my family, the boyfriend thing really isn’t bothering me. For the wedding, with all the extended family, yeah a little, but with Mum and Dad and Adrian, I think I would be just as freaked out if you were a girl, tbh.”

“But you’ve brought someone home before?”

“Yeah, I guess. But like, I was 14 when I brought Sarah home for the first time. It wasn’t really a big deal and after the first time it was even less of a big deal. When you bring someone home when you’re that young, no one takes it seriously or gives a shit. It’s just kind of what you do because there’s not really another option. But, like, now… Now I’m like _intentionally_ bringing you home to ‘meet the family’ and it feels so much more important.”

Phil’s eyebrows wrinkle together. “Do you regret deciding to bring me?” He looks concerned.

_Fuck, that’s not how I meant it._

“NO! I mean, it feels more important because it literally _is_ more important and I like it that way. I _want_ to show you off because you’re such a big part of my life. I want them to love you because _I_ love you. Nerves just mean you care, right?”

Phil smiles sheepishly. “Awe I love you too, Bear.”

“Enough to go get me another bottle of wine?” Phil raises his eyebrows in disbelief. “What? They’re tiny.”

“You’re incorrigible. I’ll get you another one after we finish this discussion.”

 _Humff._ “Fine.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m nervous too. Weirdly, not as nervous as you seem to be, but nervous. We’re planning to live together in the fall – I mean, not that we aren’t now, but like formally share the same _lease_ in the fall – and I have no intention of going anywhere any time soon, so it’d be really inconvenient if your parents hated me. That being said, I fully intend to be as endearing as humanly possible for the next week. I’ve yet to meet a parent who can’t be wooed with polite smiles and charming conversation.” Phil’s voice raises a few octaves. “ _Oh, Mrs. Howell, what a lovely home you have! Adrian, you seem like so much less of a pest than Dan describes! Mr. Howell, you seem so intimidating, I promise I’ll behave_ –”

I shove Phil’s shoulder but smile widely at his antics. He doesn’t hesitate to poke his finger in my deeper dimple.

“I understand you’re concern, Bear, but you’re overreacting. Everything is going to be fine.” His hand moves to rest on my cheek and brushes his thumb lightly over my lower lip.

I lean into his touch briefly. “Thanks, Phil.” I hold his gaze for a moment more before I nudge the empty wine glass into his stomach.

“Okay, okay, I get it. I’ll be back in a minute.”

\----

I stumble a bit getting off the train. _Oof._

Once we are on the platform, Phil pulls me into the bathroom rather than outside to the taxi stand. Inside, he grabs my cheeks in between his hands.

“Dan. Look at me. On a scale of one to ten, how drunk are you right now? Do we need to get you some coffee before we go to your house?”

I can’t stop the giggle that falls out of my mouth. “I’m like a four.” Phil looks a bit wary. “Honestly, Phil, I’m fine. Better than fine, in fact. I’m at the exact right level of tipsy for this to not be literally the scariest thing in the world.”

He still looks a bit skeptical. “If you say so. But if you can’t manage yourself in front of your parents, I’m saying you are really tired and putting you to bed, okay?”

I overexaggerate rolling my eyes. “Yes, dad.”

“Ew. No. You are not allowed to call me dad.”

“Yes, _daddy_.” I smile mischievously.

Phil huffs. “Daniel. No. I’m not one to kink shame, but I swear I will leave you here.”

I pull out of his grasp. “I’m kidding. Now come on, let’s grab a taxi and get this show on the road.”

 

The taxi ride seems to take two seconds and eight hours at the same time. Phil sat himself in the middle seat at the beginning of the ride and has been holding my hand in his lap since, lightly thumbing over the back of my hand. As the taxi pulls up in front of my house, I squeeze Phil’s hand.

“Ready?”

“All set.”

_Here goes nothing._

We’re only halfway to the door when Mum rushes out to us. I prepare myself for a smothering hug, but to my surprise she bypasses me and goes straight to Phil.

“Hello, darling. It’s so good to finally meet you in person.” Phil chuckles and hugs my mother back.

“Hello Mrs. Howell, it’s lovely to meet you as well.”

“Please, call me Kathy. Mrs. Howell is my mother-in-law.”

Phil hugs her again, much to my mother’s glee. “Nice to meet you, _Kathy_.”

“Um, hi Mum. I’m here too, ya know.”

Mum turns her attention to me. _Finally. Not like **I’m** her son or anything. _“Hello, Daniel. It’s so good to have you home.” I stagger slightly, unable to balance her bone-crushing hug and my bag at the same time in my slightly tipsy state. Phil shoots me an alarmed look from behind my mother and rushes forward to take my bag from me.

“Here, let me take that for you, Bear.”

My mum pats Phil’s cheek and practically coos. “Awe, such manners. You’ve picked such a gentleman.”

_Psh, yeah right. He just doesn’t want me to look blatantly shitfaced._

Mum ushers us into the house, motioning Phil to drop our bags by the stairs. Within the first two minutes of being in the house, Phil compliments my mum three times (“You’ve got such a cozy home!” “It’s so kind of you to invite me!” “That’s such a nice family portrait!”). _Suck up._ Dad greets us inside the lounge but Adrian is nowhere to be seen. I lead Phil to the larger sofa, leaving a bit more space between us than normal.

Mum begins to bombard Phil with questions before he’s even properly settled. “So, Phil, sweetheart, tell us about yourself.”

_Boooooring._

As Phil talks, I steadily become more aware of the fact that my mouth feels like dry sandpaper. Confident that Phil can manage on his own for a few minutes, I (somewhat shakily) press off the sofa. “I’ll be right back, I’m going for a glass of water.” My head quietly throb in protest of movement. _Oof._ “And maybe some paracetamol.”

Phil looks at me for only a moment, but his eyes twinkle with mirth. I head into the kitchen before he has the chance to say anything. _Smartass_.

After pouring myself a water, I pull the medicine box out from the cabinet under the kitchen basin. Rather than lifting it to the counter, it falls to the floor with a quiet _thud_. Helplessly, I follow the box down to the floor and drag it between my legs. The shrill screech of the box against the tile threatens to explode my head. I may not have felt particularly drunk at any point today, but the combination of wine _and_ champagne, traveling, and minimal food has left me feeling not great.

Naturally, Adrian chooses this _high point_ in my life walk in the kitchen. I can feel him staring at me as I struggle with the latch on the medicine box.

“You good there?” His laughter is so loud I can practically _feel_ it. Reflexively, I cradle my head in my hand.

“A little quieter, please.”

Miraculously, he laughs a bit softer this time. “Are you drunk?”

My head falls back against the counter. “No, but I think I’m hungover.”

“It’s ten. At night.”

“It’s literally my birthday, fuck off, Adrian.” _Little shit._

“Your birthday is tomorrow, loser.”

“Close enough. Now do something useful and fetch the paracetamol for me.”

Adrian continues to make fun of me, but cooperates all the same. I take the pills from his hand and reach for my water, only to realize I left it on the counter. _Fuck it._ I pop them into my mouth and swallow them dry.

Adrian’s hand falters as he passes me my water glass. “Oh, I guess you don’t need this.”

“I’m a good swallower,” I say with a wink.

“ _Ugh_ too much information, bro.” He looks appropriately grossed out but helps me to my feet anyway. “You know, I could so easily tell Mum and Dad you’re dying of a hangover.”

“Mmm, you do that. You still like to have Abby over while Mum and Dad go to dinner on Wednesdays?”

His cheeks tint pink. “Fine, you win.”

I give him small two-fingered salute as I pass him on the way out of the kitchen. “Thanks, Adrian!”

 

In the lounge, my parents and Phil are still engrossed in conversation. I tune in for just long enough to make sure I don’t need to contribute—Mum is asking all about his masters. _We could be here for hour_ s.

I hover next to Phil for a moment as I debate my next move. Before I can over think it, I curl into a small ball on the sofa and rest my head in Phil’s lap. My eyes snap shut before I can see either of my parents’ reaction. Phil tenses briefly.

“Do you want to go to bed, Bear?” He murmurs softly, his hand resting uncertainly on my shoulder. I shake my head and Phil continues his previous sentence. Gradually, his hand slides up and snakes its way into my hair.

 

“Bear? Wake up.”

I languidly open my eyes and slowly take in my surroundings. It takes a second before I remember I’m at home and not in Manchester. “What time is it?”

“Half eleven. You feel asleep, silly old bear.”

I swear to god I hear Mum coo again.

“Can we go to sleep now?”

Phil shakes a bit under my head as he laughs. “Of course, but that means you have to stand up first.”

“ _Ughhhhh,_ Phil.” Reluctantly, I sit up and let Phil pull me to stand. Mum is still chattering away. I hear her mention sometime about breakfast and plans for tomorrow but am too sleepy to register anything important.

Upstairs, Phil pauses in between my room and the opened door to the guest room.

“Er, do you know where I’m supposed to sleep?” He asks, shifting the weight of his duffle bag.

I look at him a little perplexed. “Did Mum say something?” Phil shakes his head.

“With me, then.” _Hey, if Mum really cared, she would have said something, right?_

Phil barely has time to shut the door in the time it takes me to strip to my boxers and crawl into bed. As soon as he joins me in bed, I bury my face into his chest, letting out a deep sigh I didn’t realize I’ve been holding in all evening.

“Long day?” He asks, running his fingers up and down my bare back.

“ _Mmm_ , good day though.”

“Yeah?”

“Good pre-birthday. And Mum likes you.”

Phil’s chest vibrates with laughter. “How would you know? You slept through almost our entire interaction.”

I try to shrug, but end up just lightly bumping Phil’s chin with my shoulder. Groaning, I press my face deep into Phil’s chest.

“Night, night Phil.”

I feel Phil press a kiss into the top of my head. “Night, night Dan. I love you.” I try to say _I love you_ back, but I’m too tired to form the words.

_It’s okay, he knows._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love hearing your comments!
> 
> next up: dan's birthday


	3. I'm allowed to spoil you on your birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan's Birthday!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um i don't know how, but somehow despite not-liking-sex™ i wrote some smut. if you have no interest in reading the sin, you can skip down to the ~*~*~*. it's not like you'll be missing any serious plot.
> 
> Also, I am SO SORRY for taking 8 years to update. classes started and I got overwhelmed and it took me a little while to find the creative energy to spend as much time as I wanted to on this :)

A shuffling in the bed slowly awakens me. I open my mouth to whine at Phil to stop moving but end up whining for a completely different reason.

“Shhh, Bear, we are in your family’s house so you are going to have to be quiet if this is going to work.”

Without waking me, Phil had somehow managed to reposition me onto my back and maneuvered himself in between my legs. He’s slowly pressing wet, opened-mouth kisses down my torso.

“Mmm and what do you have in mind, Philip?” In lieu of an answer, Phil disappears beneath the covers and fully takes my member in his mouth without warning. I feel myself harden quickly as he hollows his cheeks and begins sucking.

When he licks the underside of my cock from base to head at a painfully slow pace, I have to bite my tongue to keep from moaning too loudly. Phil takes me back in his mouth and relentlessly bobs up and down, taking me further each time until I feel myself hit the back of his throat.

“ _Fuck_ —”

He pulls off and I whimper at the loss of contact. “Tsk, tsk, what did I say about being quiet? If you can’t behave, I’ll have to gag you.”

Suddenly, my mind floods with images of me handcuffed and gagged under a much more dominant Phil. The images, coupled with Phil’s increase in pace, pull me towards the edge.

“Phil—” I try to stutter out as a warning. Phil doesn’t stop his ministrations as I release into his mouth with my back arching and my head digging into the pillow. Early in our relationship, I was always embarrassed when Phil made me come within five minutes. Since then, experience has taught me that Phil is perfectly capable of making me come however quickly (or slowly) he wants to.

When I finally regain my senses, I look down to find Phil resting his chin on my lower stomach staring at me with a cocky smirk.

**~*~*~* **~*~*~* **~*~*~*** **~*~*~*** **~*~*~*** **~*~*~*** **~*~*~*** **~*~*~*** **~*~*~*** **~*~*~*** **~*~*~*** **~*~*~*** **~*~*~*******

“What did I do to deserve that kind of wake up call?”

“Grace the world with your presence. Happy birthday, Bear.”

“Clearly I’ve been celebrating birthdays wrong.” I lace my fingers in his hair and gently pull him up for a kiss. As his torso settles against mine, I can feel his hard length press into my thigh. “Want me to do something about that for you?”

“No, it’s your birthday. I get to spoil you,” Phil mumbles against my lips.

“Does that mean you’ll fuck me then?”

Phil pulls back and gives me a reproachful look. “Dan, you and I both know that there is no way you, or the bed for that matter, can stay quiet enough to not call suspicion. Besides, we promised your mother we’d be down for breakfast soon and I’d rather not be walked in on by your family.”

“Ugh fine, but I’m not getting up for at least ten more minutes.”

“No complaints here.” My hands tangle further in his hair as I pull his head back down for another kiss. We continue to kiss lazily, my lips occasionally straying to his neck and his hands wandering up and down my sides.

Without warning, my bedroom door suddenly opens. Instinctively, I wrench the covers a bit higher up Phil’s bare back.

Adrian’s head peaks through the partially opened door. “Hey, mum said that – _ugh_ get a room.” His hand flies up to hide his eyes.

I chuck Phil’s abandoned pillow in the general direction of the door. “I have a perfectly good one, not my fault you just barged into it. What do you want?”

“Mum said to come get you guys for breakfast because the pancakes are almost done.”

“We’ll be down in a second. Bye Adrian.”

As soon as the door clicks shut, Phil rolls off of me to lie on his back beside me. I turn my head to find him already looking at me with a cheeky smile.

“That would be why I said no to fucking you.”

“Yeah, yeah, you were right. Still rude to deny the birthday boy anything he wants if you ask me.”

“Maybe later.” With a final peck on my forehead, Phil climbs out of bed. The covers trail after him, which motivates me to follow him out of bed. I can’t help eyeing Phil as he bends over his bag and rummages for a fresh pair of pants.

After we are both dressed, I lead the way downstairs. Phil abruptly yanks me by my collar into the bathroom, causing me to stumble and crash lightly into the sink.

“Jesus, Phil, a bit of warning. I could have died.”

“I should brush my teeth. Probably not the best idea to go breakfast with your family with sex-breath. Plus, you need to sort out your hair.”

I glance into the mirror. Sure enough, my hair is rumpled in a way that can only be caused by non-PG activities. My gaze shifts to rake over Phil, who is rinsing his mouth with my mouthwash.

“Ha. You’re one to talk.”

Phil looks up to take in his own disheveled appearance. “Oh my god, Daniel. Were you seriously going to let me walk into a family breakfast looking like this?” He turns his head to the side as he flattens his hair into submission. “Are you kidding me?”

“What?”

He points to a blossoming mark just below his ear. It’s faint, and probably unnoticeable if you weren’t looking for it, but it’s undeniably a hickey.

“…Sorry? It’s not my fault you decided to be such a great alarm clock. I guess I got a touch carried away.”

“I’ll say.”

 

Mum is flipping the last of the pancakes at the stove when we enter the kitchen.

“Oh there you boys are!” My mum abandons her spatula in favor of tightly hugging me. “Happy birthday, Dan. Sit, sit. I thought you two were going to sleep straight through your birthday breakfast.”

Adrian snorts from his place at the table without looking up from his phone. “They might have missed it, but I don’t think it would been due to sleeping.” I kick Adrian hard underneath the table. My mum looks confused until she sees how red both mine and Phil’s cheeks are. An awkward silence falls over the room as she finishes the pancakes.

“Anyway,” Mum clears her throat as she sets the pancakes on the table. “What would you like to do today, Dan?”

“Phil,” Adrian mumbles under his breath, quiet enough for my mum to miss it but loud enough to re-flush me and Phil’s cheeks.

I cough awkwardly with a purposeful glare in Adrian’s direction before answering. “I’m not really sure, I haven’t given it a lot of thought.”

“Well, obviously we’ve got cake and presents for later but we can do whatever you’d like in the meantime. Your father should be home from work around six.”

“I haven’t really thought about it too much. Maybe we could go into town for a bit? There are a few movies out that I’d like to see. Or we could go to the arcade.” Both Adrian and Phil perk up when I mention the arcade.

“You have an arcade here?” Phil asks.

“Yeah, it’s a really good one with classic games, too.”

My mum chuckles. “I swear you haven’t changed since you were 11.” Adrian rolls his eyes and looks like he’d beg to differ, but refrains from saying anything. Thankfully.

 

After pancakes, Phil excuses himself to shower. While I’d much rather shower _with_ Phil, I tell him to let me know when he’s done so I can freshen up as well. Adrian wordlessly follows Phil out of the kitchen, clearly trying to avoid chores.

I pile our dirty plates into the sink and throw Mum a clean dishtowel. “I’ll wash, you dry?”

Mum swats me with the towel. “You know don’t have to clean on your birthday.”

I shrug. “Eh, it’s fine. It’s not as if I’ve got anything better to do.”

We wash the dishes in a comfortable silence. As I pass Mum the last plate, I lean my hip against the counter, turning to face her.

“So, what do you think of Phil?” I fold my arms in front of my chest to stop myself from nervously tapping my hands.

“He seems very kind and intelligent. Good manners, too.” Mum mirrors my position, smirking. “However, I might like him a touch more if he didn’t bring my son home drunk.”

_Oh fuck, how did she know?_

Nervously, I rub the back of my neck and avoid her eyes. “It wasn’t his fault. I mean, if anything, he tried to tell me I should stop.” _Half-heartedly on his way to the bar._ “Plus, he didn’t even have anything to drink.” _Because I drank it all._ “Well, I mean he did when we went out to celebrate my birthday but he didn’t have anything on the train and –”

Mum grabbed my cheeks and forced me to look down at her. “Daniel, relax, I’m only joking. Phil is lovely.” Unsure of what to say, I smile and nod. “Why were you drunk, anyway?”

“I dunno, I was just nervous I guess.” Mum raised her eyebrows, silently prompting me to continue. “I know you and dad both really liked Sarah and, well, Phil couldn’t be less like her, really. I mean, aside from the fact that he’s obviously a boy, he’s completely different to her. Sarah wanted a Serious Job and was kind of quiet and enjoyed profound literature. Phil is quirky and prefers video games to books and is trying to carve out this creative career and no one really knows how it’s going to go because it’s sort of unprecedented.”

“Of course we liked those things about Sarah, but that doesn’t mean we won’t like different qualities in Phil. I watched you go through a lot of unhappy times while you were with Sarah and ever since you met Phil, you’ve smiled so much more. To me, that’s worth more than anything. Besides, it’s been less than a day since I met Phil and I can already tell that boy looks at you in a way Sarah never did.”

“I am a lot happier with Phil than I ever was with Sarah. I’m glad you like him, I don’t really plan for him to go away anytime soon if I can help it.”

“DAN! The bathroom’s free!” Phil calls from upstairs.  

Mum swats me again with her towel. “Go on, get. We’ll head out when you’re ready.”

 

* * *

 

 

As we are driving to the arcade, my mind wanders back to this morning. I haven’t been able to get what Phil said out of my head all day. Feeling a bit daring, I pull out my phone and tap Phil’s name.

 **Dan:**  
_phiiiiiiiiiil_

I hit send before I can change my mind. Immediately, Phil’s phone buzzes from his pocket. He looks at me questioningly across the backseat. Without saying anything, I start typing a new message. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Phil curiously waiting for my next message.

 **Dan:**  
_remember this morning when you said that if i wasn’t quiet, you’d have to gag me?_

Phil sputters beside me. When he regains the ability to breathe, he types back.

 **Phil:**  
_Yes._

 **Dan:**  
_do you think we could maybe put that idea to use when we get home?_

 **Phil:  
** _I seriously hope you mean Manchester-home, not your-house home._

 **Dan:** _  
duh_

 **Dan:  
** _you didn’t answer my question_

Phil glances at me, but I can’t read his expression.

 **Phil:**  
_I’m the one who said it, so I think that speaks for me._

 **Phil:** _  
Would you be into that though?_

I look up to catch Phil’s eye, only to find him already staring at me. I send him a quick wink before responding.

 **Dan:** _  
are you kidding me? i haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since you said it_

 **Dan:** _  
i’d be very, very in favor of you tying me up and gagging me_

Phil swallows loudly and shuffles in his seat. I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing.

 **Phil:** _  
fuck_

 **Phil:** _  
Yeah okay_

 **Phil:** _  
I’m ordering handcuffs and a gag as soon as we are alone tonight. Happy second birthday._

 **Dan:** _  
get a blindfold too_

 **Phil:** _  
Are you trying to kill me?_

 **Phil:** _  
But yes, I definitely will._

 **Phil:** _  
This conversation is turning me on and your mum is like a meter away. We need to talk about something else._

 **Phil:** _  
And stop biting your fucking lip like that it’s not helping._

 **Dan:** _  
i’ll stop biting my lip if you stop saying fuck_

The three dots appear and disappear several times as Phil types and deletes his response. Finally, he sends:

 **Phil:** _  
Touché._

With an air of finality, he shoves his phone back in his pocket and turns to stare out the window, pretending to be interested in the sights passing by.

 

* * *

 

A loud squeal interrupts me and Phil’s intense discussion about which prizes to trade our game tickets for. A girl, probably 13 or 14, to our right is excitedly coming over to us.

“OMIGOD it’s danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil!!! I can’t believe you guys are actually here!” Mum looks perplexed by the outburst.

Phil, being the amazingly sweet person he is, responds with just as much enthusiasm.

“Hi! Are you one of our subscribers?”

“Yes! I’ve been subscribed to you both for forever. I love your videos so much.”

“Aww thank you!” Phil reaches out to give the girl a hug. When she steps back from Phil, I open my arms to hug her as well.

“Yes, thank you so much.”

We chat amicably for a few minutes. She introduces herself as Cindy and continues to talk about her favorite videos and even wishes me a happy birthday.

“So, I have a bet with my friend and she’d absolutely die if I didn’t ask.” _Uh oh, I have a feeling I know where this is going._ “Is Phan real?”

_Yup, there it is._

I can feel Phil tense up beside me. Before either of us have a chance to respond to the question, I change the topic.

“So, would you like a selfie?”

Cindy looks disappointed, and perhaps a bit suspicious, that I changed the subject, but at least has enough respect to not push the question a second time. She accepts the selfie and we huddle together as I take the photo. Still on edge from the question, Phil and I both stand a little farther apart than we normally do, even with subscribers.

As I hand her back her phone, Phil politely excuses us, saying that my family is waiting for us. _Not a complete lie._ Mum and Adrian are both hovering a few feet away, blatantly staring at the interaction. Cindy thanks us again and leaves the arcade.

Phil spins to face me, a glare fixed on his face. “You know it will probably be all over the internet that you completely changed the topic when she asked if Phan is real or not.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t see you coming up with anything better. What did you want to do? Lie? Say yes? Avoiding the question seemed like the least of the evils.”

Phil starts to retaliate, but Mum cuts him off.

“What’s Phan?”

 _Ughh._ “It’s our ship name.”

Adrian chuckles, but Mum still looks confused. “What’s a ship?”

“It’s when people like the idea of two people being in a relationship. So Phan is Dan plus Phil – some of our subscribers are really hoping that we are in a romantic relationship,” Phil answers.

“So you haven’t told them?”

“No,” Phil and I answer at the same time.

“Why?”

“Me and Phil want to establish separate channels that sometimes collaborate, rather than being seen only as a pair. We figure that telling them the truth will only hurt their ability to see us as separate people.” Mum nods, but clearly doesn’t understand.

Phil turns back to face me, glaring again. “ _Which_ is why _somebody_ needs to be more careful about how he answers that question.” Adrian backs away from us and darts out of the shop.

_Shut up, Phil._

“Look, Phil, can we please not fight about this right now? It’s my birthday and we’re in public.” My eyes flicker to Mum in attempts to silently emphasize my point.

Phil drops his game tickets onto the counter. “I’m going to go to the loo.”

I wait until Phil is out of earshot before I ask the attendant for one of the knockoff pokemon keychains that costs nearly all of our pooled tickets. I grab the toy off the counter, shoving it into my pocket as I make my way to the benches at the front of the arcade.

Mum silently sits next to me.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.”

She waves her hand dismissively. “Will you two be alright?”

Her question surprises me and I almost laugh out loud. The idea of me and Phil _not_ being okay is completely ludicrous. “Of course we will be. He’s just off collecting his thoughts right now.”

“Here I thought you were the perfect couple.”

I can’t help but roll my eyes. “Please, like there is a such thing as a perfect couple. Every relationship has its own set of difficulties, it’s just a matter of choosing to work through them. Me and Phil don’t always see perfectly eye to eye on the… er… business side of our relationship, but we’ve come to a good compromise that we’re both comfortable with.”

“What do you mean the business side of your relationship?”

“Both of our channels are kind of exploding right now. It’s like every time I look, we both have more subscribers. Neither of us really believed we’d be where we are now, so it’s kind of trial and error on how we navigate our relationship in front of our subscribers. For a lot of reasons, we’ve decided to keep that relationship platonic, but sometimes maintaining that front is stressful. It’s worth it though, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“When did you get to be so old and mature?”

I smile sheepishly, blushing a bit.

“I’ll let you two boys have a moment.” I glance behind me to see Phil hovering by the exit. Once Mum’s joined Adrian in the shop next door, Phil hesitantly approaches the bench.

_Here we go._

“May I?” He asks, gesturing to where Mum was sitting. I nod silently but don’t quite meet his eye.

“I’m sorry.” We both say at the same time. I giggle quietly at how bloody in sync we are sometimes.

“No, me first. I was the one who was out of line.” Phil interrupts. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. Especially in public, in front of your mum. _And_ on your birthday. That was pretty crap of me to do.”

“It’s okay. You’re probably right, anyway. I’m sure that girl will talk about my response – or lack thereof – to anyone who will listen. It wasn’t the most discrete thing I could have done.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like I had a better plan. We were both caught off guard and it was an awkward situation and you did the best you could. Forgive me?”

I bump my shoulder against his. “Already forgiven.”

Phil stands, offering his hand to help me up. I squeeze his hand in what I hope is a reassuring gesture before I nod my head towards the shop Mum and Adrian went into.

“Oh! I got you something!”

“Dan! It’s your birthday. I’m supposed to get _you_ things. Don’t you know how birthdays work, silly old bear?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I know you wanted it.” I dig out the small toy from my pocket and drop it into Phil’s hands.

“Oh my gosh, it’s the not-pokemon key chain! It’s even better up close. Thank you.”

“Of course. Now, come on, let’s catch up before I give into the urge to kiss you in the middle of the street, please.”

 

* * *

 

I push my empty cake plate away and survey the small mountain of presents in front of me. I’ve gotten several new shirts from my mum, a new guitar hero guitar from my dad, and a new video game from Adrian, as well as several cards with money from various extended family members. However, a medium-sized box still remains on the table.

“Who is that one from?” I ask, nodding towards the wrapped gift.

Phil waves his hand.

“Phil! You already got me a present.” I send a subtle wink in his direction. “ _Multiple_ presents, actually.”

“Hey, you spoiled me on my birthday, I’m allowed to spoil you on yours.” He pushes the box within my reach. “Besides, it’s really only half for you. I got it for both of us, I just used your birthday as an excuse to buy it.”

Confused, I quickly rip the paper off the package. The front of the box depicts a picture of the new camera me and Phil have been lusting over for months.

“Holy shit, thank you. I can’t wait to start shooting with it.”

My father looks at the camera skeptically. “So you’ve been enjoying this video thing, Dan?”

I cringe a little at how (probably unintentionally) condescending my father sounds. “Yeah, we’re both really passionate about YouTube.”

“That’s nice that you have a hobby. I hope it’s not distracting you from your studies too much though. It’s important to have your priorities straight so you can start to build your career. You’re going to make a great lawyer.”

I swallow guiltily, thinking of the exam resit I haven’t told them about and the nearly-completed form I left on Phil’s dresser.

“Don’t worry dad, I’m focused on my goals.” _I’m just not sure those goals include law school._

 

Lying in bed, I play with Phil’s fingers between my hands, trying to find the words to say what I’m thinking. Phil has been patiently silent, waiting for me to bring up what’s on my mind.

“Phil?”

“Yes, Bear?”

“You know your birthday present?”

“Which one?”

“Yesterday. The form.”

“What about it?”

“When my dad was lecturing me about my studies and my future at dinner, all I could think about was how ungodly awful being a lawyer sounds. I haven’t made up my mind yet, but I’m thinking about it.”

Phil kisses the top of my head. “I’m glad to hear it. You know I’ll support you no matter what you do.”

I drop his hand and snuggle into the crook of his neck. “Thanks, Phil.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let me know what you think! comments are like cookies :) 
> 
> in case you're curious, I'm planning for 2, maybe 3, more chapters. for what it's worth, I've already got the last one finished AND part of a sequel written, i'm just missing the middle bit... accurate metaphor for my life really


	4. Looks like we're going out tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil go out with Dan's old friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GAWD I CAN'T BELIEVE IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO UPDATE I'M SO SORRY. 
> 
> I had a hard time picking exactly where I wanted this chapter go to but then I sat down with a half-formed idea and the whole thing spilled out in less than 40 minutes and I felt silly for not doing it ages ago. I'm actually really happy with where it went!
> 
>  
> 
> i can 100% promise that the next update won't take nearly as long. in fact, i've got pretty much the whole thing written. it just needs some minor tweaking, so it will be up by FRIDAY AT THE LATEST. and if it's not, i give you guys full permission to leave annoying comments all over the place.

Mum nudges the door fully open just as I cross the finish line in Mario Kart, successfully winning the cup.

“I ran into Jack at the shops and mentioned you were in town. He said that he and a few of your other friends were heading to the pub this evening and invited you along. Your father and I weren’t planning on doing anything tonight – you should call him. I’m sure you’d have a lovely evening catching up with everyone.”

I literally have to bite back a groan. “Are you sure you don’t want to enjoy my company while I’m home?”

“Oh that’s alright, sweetheart. I’m sure you’d have more fun at the pub with your friends than just watching the telly with us boring old folks.”

_Great._

Defeated, I pull out my phone to text Jack about evening plans. Phil waits until my mum is out of earshot before asking, “So, is Jack really that bad?”

With a sigh, I dramatically fall onto my back, turning to face Phil.

“What gave it away?”

“You offered to spend the evening at home with your _parents_ over going out. Can’t be good. What’s wrong with Jack?”

I turn back to face the ceiling. “Nothing is wrong, _per say_. I used to hang out with Jack and them a lot when I was living here. He’s just kind of… a lad. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but…”

“Just not exactly your cup of tea?”

“Exactly.”

My phone vibrates against my thigh. _Jack responded quickly._

“Looks like we’re going out tonight.” I toss Phil my phone so he can read the message.

“Oh joy.” Phil rolls his eyes, undoubtedly at Jack’s excessive use of exclamation points.

 

* * *

 

 

The bar we meet my friends at is dark and a little bit grimy. But the drinks are cheap, there’s little chance of running into subscribers, and there are plenty of isolated tables, so at least there’s that. After a solid half hour of obligatory catching up with Jack and the rest of the group, me and Phil retreat to a small booth away from the crowd.

Phil has had just enough alcohol to be a little bit more coupley than we normally are in public. His eyes are raking over me in a way friends don’t really look at each other and his hand has come to rest on my upper thigh, shielded from view by the table. Phil is in the middle of telling me a story about his brother’s girlfriend when the table gently shakes from the pressure of someone sitting on top of it.

“Hi Dan!”

_Fuck – is that?_

I turn towards the voice behind me. _Yup, it is._

“Hi Sarah,” I shoot her an awkward smile and start to turn back to Phil. He raises his eyebrows, silently asking if this Sarah is _Ex-Girlfriend Sarah_. I subtly nod in response.

Apparently she wants to have a proper _interaction_ though.

“How has uni been? I’ve seen some of the videos you’ve been making!”

_Here we go._

“Uni’s been… uni. You know me, I was never really that interested in classes. But I’ve been trying my best.” _Lies lies lies._

“That’s good! I always knew you’d do well if you tried!” I nod my head awkwardly, with nothing to really say. “Who is this?” I recognize that knowing tone in her voice a little too well.

 _Fucking shit fuck._ Phil isn’t exactly the best topic between us.

“This is Phil. He lives in Manchester, too.” I carefully step around any relationship identifiers. Before we came, Phil suggested that we not mention to any of my friends that we’re _together_ since I’m not really that close with them and ‘just in case’. While I don’t disagree with him, I still feel slightly uneasy flat out lying to my old friends, so I’ve been introducing Phil as another person who lives in Manchester all evening. _Hey, it’s true._

Phil starts to say hello, but is interrupted by Jack’s hand on his shoulder. “Hey mate, how about that game of billiards you promised me earlier?”

I shoot Phil a don’t-you-dare-leave-me look, but he shrugs helplessly and follows Jack towards the game area. For lack of something to say, I take a long sip of my drink.

“So, that’s Phil, huh?”

Startled, I look up and am met with a contemplative gaze from Sarah.

“Er… yeah, that’s Phil.”

“You guys used to Skype a lot. It must be nice to live near him now.”

I’m a little bit baffled why Sarah is bringing up this conversation. The fallout of our relationship not-so-coincidentally coincided with my friendship with Phil quickly growing. For weeks before we broke up, she’d complained that I spent far, _far_ more time on Skype with ‘that boy from Manchester’ than with her.

Again, I nod awkwardly. “Yeah. Yeah, it is.” Unable to think of anything to say, I take another long sip of my drink.

“So did you two end up getting together?”

I just about choke on my drink.

“Sorry?” I ask between coughs.

“It seemed like that was the direction things were heading.”

Abruptly, I’m hit full force with a vivid memory of our breakup conversation.

 

_“Yeah, maybe we should think about our relationship some. We are going to different parts of the country in the fall.” I mumbled, speaking more to the ground than to Sarah._

_“Well, yes, that’s one reason to think about things.”_

_Confused, I looked up to meet her gaze. “What do you mean?”_

_“Come on, Dan, I’m not stupid.”_

_“You’re going to have to help me fill in the blanks here.”_

_“I’m talking about Phil.”_

_“And?”_

_“You can’t possibly tell me you only think of him as a friend.”_

_I was lost for words._

_“Whether you see it right now or not, Dan, you stopped loving me a long time ago and started loving him instead.”_

_“I don’t… I mean… I care about you though.”_

_“I know. But you love him. It’s okay. I’m a big girl. We both knew our relationship wasn’t going to last forever and that’s_ okay _. But the way you are when you talk about Phil? It seems special. Don’t lose that.”_

 

“I… uh… yeah. Yeah, we are. Together, I mean.”

“I’m glad. I’ve seen how you guys are together, in some of your videos. God, that sounds so creepy to say doesn’t it?” I shrug. _It’s not like it’s that unusual, with how our channels are going these days._ “But it seems like you guys really care about each other.”

My gaze wanders to Phil, who is leaning over the billiards table with Jack chatting animatedly next to him.

I turn back to Sarah. “Yeah, we do.”

“That’s good.” Once again, her gaze turns softly calculating. She slides down off the table and into the booth where Phil was sitting. “Are you happy, Dan?”

I’m not sure if it’s the fact that I haven’t been outright asked that question in a long time or if it’s the alcohol or if it’s because it’s _Sarah_ , someone I have a long and intimate history with, but I feel a bout of honesty rise to the surface.

“In some ways, yes. I’m really enjoying making videos and getting to be creative. And Phil. Phil’s good.”

Her eyebrows raise. “But?”

“I don’t know. Uni. _Law_.” The distaste is evident in my voice. Sarah cocks her head and raises an eyebrow in the way I’ve seen a thousand times before. It means _oh?_ and _tell me more_ and _I suspected_ and _I care_ all in one. Before I can stop the words from coming out of my mouth, I’m practically baring my soul.

“I’m just… not passionate about it. In fact, I’m the dead opposite of passionate about it. I hate my classes. Truly, honestly _hate_ them. They’re so boring. It’s not even that they’re hard, you know? They’re just _dry_. And god, the thought of being a lawyer. I don’t think I can think of too many worse fates, to be honest. So yeah, that part, maybe not so much.”

“So why are you doing it?”

I fiddle with the napkin in front of me, slowly tearing it into smaller and smaller pieces. “My parents. Society. Youtube’s not a safe career path. Hell, it’s so new it’s barely even an _option_ for a career path.”

“Those are bullshit reasons to be pursuing law and you know it. And even shittier reasons not to be following your passions, if you ask me.”

I meet Sarah’s eyes again. I remember why I loved her. She’s kind and understanding and intuitive in a way most people aren’t. The more she talks with this _genuine care_ , the more I realize that maybe we’ve reached a point where we can be friends. Maybe our relationship doesn’t have to end on a slightly bittersweet note, with her breaking up with me and urging me to go after Phil. Maybe, two years later, friendship is an option.

“What are you saying, Sarah?”

“Don’t do it.”

“You? The Queen of Studying? Are you really advocating for dropping out of Uni?”

Sarah rolls her eyes and gently shoves my shoulder. “Shut up. Sure _I_ like books and studying, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone. You shouldn’t think of it as _dropping out_ of Uni. Look at it the other way ‘round. You could be eliminating something you _loathe_ that is time-consuming – and expensive – from your life so that you have more time and energy to dedicate to something that could lead to a career you’d be passionate about.”

Silently, I hold Sarah’s gaze for a moment, processing everything she’s said. “You really think so?” My voice is quiet. “You don’t think dropping out of Uni would be failing?”

“Chasing after what you love is not failing, Dan. That’s succeeding. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

I slowly nod, my logic and emotions taking a moment to catch up with the meaning of her words.

The way she puts it, it seems so obvious. Of all of the people who might be able to give me objective outside advice, I didn’t think it would be Sarah.

“Thanks, Sarah. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now – even more so in the past few days – and, I dunno, this helped. I think I needed validation from someone who isn’t Phil.”

“Think about it. I just want you to be happy, yeah?”

“You too, Sarah. Let’s keep in touch, maybe? Do you think we can be friends, even though I’m dating Phil?”

“Of course, Dan. I think we’ve both grown a lot in the past few years.”

“Yeah, me too. I should get going… I want to hear how you’ve been doing, though. Maybe let’s talk on Skype or something soon?”

“That’d be nice. Text me when you get back to Manchester and we can set something up. My number hasn’t changed.”

“Thanks again, Sarah.” I start to make my way across the bar, but a thought practically slams into me. I turn back around and hesitantly hover above Sarah.

“Hey, so, uh. I don’t know how to say this…”

Once again, Sarah cocks her head in that inquisitive way.

“Could you maybe not, you know, spread it around that Phil and I are… yeah. We’re not really sharing that part of us with our subscribers right now.”

Sarah chuckles quietly. “Your secret is safe with me. Now go get your boyfriend and get out of here. I know how much you _love_ Jack and the lads.”

I roll my eyes dramatically and make a sound of distaste. “You’re the best.”

I navigate my way over to Phil, who has finished his game with Jack and is now in conversation with a few of the lads. I tap his shoulder and gesture towards the exit. After a few quick minutes of _goodbye_ and _let’s do this again soon_ and _it was good to see you mate_ , Phil and I are finally alone outside.

“It looks like things between you and Sarah didn’t go so bad?” Phil knocks his hand into the side of mine in silent reassurance.

“No, no they didn’t. I guess there is something to be said for talking to someone who’s known you since you were nine.”

“Yeah, I suppose there is. Anything in particular?”

“ _Mhmm_. She’s very perceptive . I don’t know. We were talking and it helped I guess.”

Phil loosely intertwines his pinky with mine, letting go as we round the corner to the main street. “What about?”

“I want to quit Uni. I think I’m going to take the resits, just in case I want to revisit it someday. And it feels like less of a waste that way. But I don’t like it and I like YouTube and none of that is going to change.”

Despite the fact that we’re in the middle of a busy street and anyone could see us, Phil wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into his side, letting his lips briefly press into my temple.

“I’m proud of you, Bear. I think you’re making the right choice.”

“Me too, Phil. Me too.” I lean into his grasp for a moment before straightening up. “What do you think about celebratory drinks at a different bar? I’m sure my parents aren’t expecting us home for a while yet.”

“Sounds great, lead the way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god i wish all exes were like sarah tbh. she's the best. where can i get one of those? 
> 
> I NEED Y'ALLS OPINION. the next chapter will be the last of this installment, but i've already written a sequel to this series. however, the sequel doesn't take place for a few YEARS and i will probably want to write some stuff for the in between years at some point but i don't have fully formed thoughts yet. would you guys prefer i post the sequel now and go back and fill in the in between when i'm inspired or wait to post the sequel until i've written whatever chapters i decide to put in between?


	5. I play to enjoy all of it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wedding!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw there's like one homophobic comment because aunt edna is a bitch but if you haven't caught on by now, this is a no-angst zone™

The wedding ceremony is full of sweet promises and teary smiles. No one flinches when Phil reaches out to hold my hand as the couple exchanges “I do’s”. If anyone is shocked or disgusted when I introduce Phil as my boyfriend, they don’t express it to my face (save Great Aunt Edna’s grimace, but she’s older than sin and I’m choosing to ignore her). I don’t hear any whispered conversations behind my back and at least three family members have made an effort to get to know Phil (who has been nothing but charming and polite). I nearly have to pinch myself to remind myself that this isn’t a dream, that my family really is being this supportive.

After cake, my dad retreats from our table to talk to my grandma and Mum seeks Cassidy out to give her congratulations and best wishes. I pull my chair closer to Phil and rest my head lightly on his shoulder, silently watching my family and childhood friends dance to the smooth jazz the wedding band plays.

“Wanna dance?”

“Dan, you know as well as I do that we are both completely rubbish at dancing.”

I stand up and tug on his arm. “Come on, it’s a slow song. How hard can it be?”

Phil looks like he’d like to disagree, but he allows me to pull him to the edge of the dance floor anyway. I guide Phil’s hands to my hips before looping mine around his neck, leaving nearly a foot of space between us. “See, this isn’t so difficult, is it?”

Phil chuckles and pulls me closer, fully wrapping his arms around my waist so that our hips and chests touch, making it feel more intimate and less like a school dance. Pleased with his increased enthusiasm, I kiss the soft spot right below his ear and rest my head on his shoulder. I can _feel_ Great Aunt Edna’s wrinkly eyes bearing into the back of my head, but I refuse to let it get to me. It’s not my fault that she’s a crotchety old bitch.

Without interrupting our slow swaying, Phil turns his head to quietly speak into my ear. “Your dad had _The Talk_ with me last night.”

My brows furrow. _Huh?_ “What talk?”

“You know, the don’t-you-dare-hurt-my-kid talk.”

I jerk my head off Phil’s shoulder in shock and search his face for any indication that he’s kidding. “Are you fucking serious?” Phil nods solemnly, but there’s a twinkle in his eye. “Oh my god that’s so embarrassing. What did he even say? When did this happen?”

“I went down for a glass of water after you feel asleep. He said about what any other concerned parent would probably say. He’s very aware of the fact that I’m four years older than you and that we met online. I can see where he’d be a bit wary.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, but you’re _you_.” _Literally the nicest ball of sunshine in the world._

“So? That doesn’t change the facts. At least not for your dad.”

_It does for me._

“Was it completely awful?”

Phil playfully shakes me, like he always does when he thinks I’m being silly. “Of course not. I mean, it wasn’t the most enjoyable conversation in the world, but it was fine. He just wanted to voice his concerns, especially since we’re moving in together – I didn’t bother to tell him that we’ve practically been living together already, so you’re welcome for that by the way.” I grunt gratefully. “But he was polite and wasn’t overly threatening and he let me speak too, so it was better than I was prepared for.”

“Did he mention anything about that fact that you’re a boy?”

“Nope, though he did joke that if I knock you up he’d march my ass down the aisle with a shotgun.”

_Ew ew ew ew ew my parents are supposed to pretend sex doesn’t exist ew._

“ _Ugh_ , that’s such a dad joke. Especially since that’s, like, literally physically impossible. How the hell did you even respond?”

Phil hesitates for a fraction of a second. “I told that under no circumstances would it take a shotgun to get me down the aisle if you’re at the alter and that I’d be luckiest man in the world to get marry you someday.”

I’m speechless for almost a full minute as the meaning of Phil’s words sink in.

“You didn’t.” _Not exactly what I meant to say, but at least it was words._

“I did.”

The smile on my face is so wide I can literally _feel_ my own dimples. “How’d he take that?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure if it made him like me more or less.”

“Did you mean it?”

“Of course I did. I can’t think of a single better thing that could happen in my life than getting to marry you someday, Bear.”

The words are barely out of his mouth before my hands are on his cheeks, passionately pulling him in for a kiss. I’m still smiling so widely it hurts and I can’t really kiss him properly but I can feel him smiling too and I’m pretty sure I’ve never been this happy in my entire life. I’m young and in love and hearing Phil say that he actually wants to _marry_ me someday might be the best feeling in the world.

I’m so wrapped up in our little moment that I am _almost_ able to tune out Aunt Edna loudly complaining to her tablemate.

“Can you believe the nerve of those boys? This is a lovely wedding and they are insisting on shoving their queer relationship in everyone’s faces. Back in my day, that kind of affection between men never would have been tolerated.”

_What a bitch._

I pull back from the kiss but not from Phil. Our foreheads fall together as we catch our breath and I can’t help but roll my eyes at stupid Aunt Edna’s homophobic comments. Not even her loud disapproval can bring me down right now.

What does pull me out of my trance, however, is what I hear next.

“That kind of _affection_ is an expression of love, which if you ask me, more love in the world is always a good thing. It’s a very good thing society has become more accepting since your day, Edna.” I turn around and find that _my father_ of all people is towering above Aunt Edna with a cold look on his face.

“But Dan is such a handsome young man, surely he can find a pretty girl instead. Lord knows he has in the past.”

“I don’t see what Dan’s prior dating habits have to do with the matter. I’m sure Dan could find a ‘pretty girl’ to date, if he wanted to.” His voice is slightly louder than is probably considered socially appropriate. “However, if you haven’t noticed, he’s quite enamored with Phil. And if he’s found someone who he loves and loves him in return, who the fuck are _you_ to judge him?”

I feel a rush of gratitude towards my dad. _I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t **that**. _

“I guess that answers how he feels about you,” I mumble, partially to myself and partially to Phil.

“I guess so,” Phil murmurs back.

I’m about to rush over but Cassidy sweeps ahead of me. My father has the manners to look a bit chagrined at his behavior. Great Aunt Edna does not.

“I’m very sorry, Cassidy. I didn’t mean to cause a scene at your wedding.”

Cassidy brushes off his apology with a wave of her hand. “Oh please, Uncle Henry, you’re fine.” Her attention shifts to Aunt Edna. “However, I will not tolerate those kind of homophobic comments at _my wedding_. Everyone here is very proud of Dan for coming out and if you can’t be happy for him, or at the very least keep your shitty opinions to yourself, then you are free to leave. God _forbid_ you have to endure watching two people be happy and in love _at a wedding_.”

My eyes start to well up; I’m overwhelmed with emotion.

“Excuse me,” I mutter to no one in particular. Gently, I extricate myself from Phil embrace and quickly walk to the deserted balcony. After I’ve taken a few deep breaths, I hear the door slide back open behind me.

“Hi, Phil.” My voice is quiet, but surprisingly even.

“Not Phil.”

I turn around and am surprised for the second time tonight to find my father behind me.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think about how confronting Aunt Edna would make you feel. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable back there.” He opens his mouth to say more, but I rush forward into his arm, cutting him off. For a split second, he’s startled, but then his arms wrap securely around my shoulders. My face squishes into his chest, just like it used to when I was a child. I’m taller than the last time I did this and I have to slouch some, but it feels the same.

It’s a long moment before I am able to collect myself enough to say something.

“Thank you, daddy.”

“For what?” He sounds surprised.

I turn my head almost imperceptibly to the side so that he can understand me better. It’s been years since we’ve hugged for more than a few seconds, but tonight it feels right.

“Everything. For standing up for me. For accepting Phil. For accepting _me_ and being so understanding. For having your stupid, embarrassing talk with Phil. For supporting me. I don’t know. For everything.”

He kisses the top of my head like he used to when I was little.

“I’ll support you through anything, Dan, it’s part of being a parent. In the grand scheme of things, coming out as bisexual is one of the smaller things you could be asking for my support in. Besides, Phil’s a good kid and he really does seem to love you, I’ll give him that.”

I pull back, smiling wetly and wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.

“Well that’s good,” I giggle, “because I really love him too.”

“I can tell. Just remember you’re young, yeah? You’ve got lots of time.”

“I know. I plan to enjoy all of it.”

* * *

Later that night, I’m lying in Phil’s arms, absentmindedly rubbing my hand up and down his chest. I don’t think my smile has completely disappeared since the reception.

“So you really meant it? You’d actually want to marry me?”

Phil’s chest rumbles with his low laughter beneath my head. “Is it really that hard to believe? Not right now, obviously. We are so young – and you’re even younger. But someday? God, yes. I want to go on every possible adventure with you, Daniel James Howell, and marriage is just the beginning of it. So yes, in a few years time, you can be _damn_ sure that I am going to propose and put a ring on your finger, Bear. I’m going to scream to the world about how completely in love with you I am.”

My chest feels like it might burst open. I desperately want to roll over and kiss him, but I don’t trust myself to stop at a kiss and I can still hear my parents puttering about downstairs. Instead, I settle for kissing his chest, right above his heart.

“Don’t worry, I’ll say yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's the last chapter of this installment of the series! thanks for all of the sweet comments and support :) I'll post the next installment relatively soon - I've got like 80% of it written. on a similar note, I'm considering writing a companion drabble of phil's convo with dan's dad - thoughts?
> 
> as always, i love to hear your comments and thoughts! thanks xx

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on tumblr at [imnotinclinedtomaturity](http://www.imnotinclinedtomaturity.tumblr.com) and [iminclinedtowriting](http://www.iminclinedtowriting.tumblr.com)


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